Everyone has grandparents, but not every family holds a formal death anniversary and unites siblings.
After many things happened, my mother disowned her only younger brother. Mom forbade us to see you.
If I don’t see you, it’s okay. Since childhood, I have also witnessed many haunting scenes from his brutal actions with his grandfather and aunt before they passed away. So my mother’s ban on seeing him was also my brother’s wish, wanting to shake off those haunting memories from our lives.
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When I was in middle school, I witnessed a scene like something out of a gangster movie. A boy with a young face, but is the big brother of the children in the neighborhood. One time, there was a brutal fight right in front of my school gate. The big brother, instead of just standing and cheering for his juniors like usual, this time he rushed into the middle of the fight. Looking shocked when he realized the victim was an acquaintance, he shouted: “He’s my cousin, don’t hit him.” The whole group of children fell silent. The big brother looked at each junior’s face, his voice still very big: “That’s my cousin, from now on, whoever touches him, don’t blame me.”
Witnessing that scene, I was touched by the title “cousin”. I think it’s good to have relatives. Childishly, I wished someone would come next to me and tell me that I was that person’s cousin.
At that time, I remembered your younger siblings, I didn’t know what their faces were like now. Sometimes when we meet each other on the street, we wouldn’t know they are cousins. That thought made me feel like someone who lost his footing, feeling indescribably lost. But my mother was still determined to get rid of him. No one mentioned anything about him in front of his mother.
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| Every quality meeting always brings good energy (illustration) |
Later, when I went to work, one time a colleague invited me home to celebrate my mother’s death anniversary. I only know that you are the youngest child in a family of many siblings. Every time your family celebrates the death anniversary of your parents, your children and grandchildren gather together to recite prayers according to Catholic rites, then have an intimate meal together. Adults and children chatted loudly, very happy.
At that time, I noticed that my second sister was over 60, and her daughter-in-law, son-in-law, children, and grandchildren were evenly matched. There is a grandchild who has just returned to work, sent on a business trip from Singapore, and also took the opportunity to return “in time for his great-grandfather’s death anniversary”. But my great-grandfather passed away before my grandchild was born.
Then the family of Ms. Ba, Mr. Tu, Mr. Nam, Ms. Sau… Every family was present, everyone shook hands happily. Looking at that powerful group coming to participate in the death anniversary, I suddenly felt sad.
Everyone has grandparents, but not every family has such a solemn death anniversary and unites siblings so much.
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| The death anniversary is an opportunity for relatives to meet and bond with each other (illustration) |
One time my mother held a death anniversary party, and he came and made a fuss that the women in the family didn’t need to do those things. He thought, did my mother want to take over the house her parents left behind, so she invested in organizing a death anniversary? Mom turned pale with anger and swore that from now on, there would be no death anniversary.
My father’s parents passed away during the war, when he was still young, so he didn’t even know his parents’ faces. So I don’t have any proper death anniversary ceremonies to remember the deceased and meet relatives.
Life is different now, everyone has their own worries about the house. I even take care of personal matters so as not to affect my family. I thought that with that independent lifestyle, the word “kin” would not affect me at all, but not really.
Meetings with family members, although not so intimate that they expose all their hearts and souls, the kinship relationship still partly fills the spiritual void, at least in the most lonely times. , I still believe that somewhere, Miss Nam, Uncle Tam… are my relatives.
They may not have much connection to their current lives, but were once the core companions of their father and mother.
I also read somewhere a favorite sentence: “We are present for each other. We love each other and exist in this life.”
Therefore, if in our life’s journey, we have brothers and sisters, it is precious!
An Na
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