Parents in the past often relied on age to assume that they belonged to the “upper class”. However, life has changed now.
Moving from my hometown to Saigon for nearly 2 months, I have begun to get used to the space and busy pace of life here. The only thing that still makes me feel uneasy is the cramped, awkward atmosphere between me and my daughter-in-law.
My son works as a consultant and sales person for an automobile business unit in Phu Nhuan district. In the last months of the year, I have a lot of work so I always leave early and come home late. In an apartment of less than 50 square meters, just leaving the bedroom, going out to the living room, going to the bathroom or going to the kitchen, I can easily encounter my daughter-in-law.
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My daughter-in-law is young. Previously, I used to work as a worker for a garment factory. After the epidemic, the company dissolved, and I applied to sell at a supermarket. I am very resourceful, outside of working hours I also collect goods from the countryside to the city, practicing business.
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| Photo for illustration purposes only – Shutterstock |
For a few years, my son and his wife lived in the city, and I lived in the countryside, but I followed every move and business of my children closely. However, because we are far apart, I have not had the opportunity to talk or interact much with my daughter-in-law.
I intend for my children to permanently settle in the city, and as for me, as long as my health is still strong, I will still stay in the countryside. With a large garden that grows seasonal vegetables and takes care of a flock of dozens of chickens that take turns laying eggs and then selling them, I have enough to cover my expenses. However, recently, the old 3-room house left by my great-grandfather has seriously deteriorated.
In the past 2 years, my son had to arrange work, fly back and forth constantly to visit and encourage me to go to town to reunite. I said that next time the couple will make more money, next year they will try to change the house or buy a larger apartment for mom to be comfortable. Even though I still had a lot of attachment and couldn’t bear to leave this land of fire, to give my children peace of mind, I had to pack my bags and go to the South.
When living together, the first thing I can do to support is to help take care of my grandchildren. Observing, I see that my daughter-in-law is quite carefree and comfortable in raising her children. On holidays, children are free to wake up late. Eating and drinking on weekends is also “male and female”, not following any routine. If I’m absolutely allergic to junk food and lots of sugar, my daughter-in-law thinks it’s okay to feed my child a few times a month.
The second thing that bothers me is the behavior and address between husband and wife and children. Even though my son is 3 years older than my daughter-in-law, every time I talk, my daughter-in-law often uses empty speech. Recently, my daughter-in-law stopped working at the supermarket. All day long I’m glued to my phone, while my husband works nearly 10 hours a day, and when he comes home he still has to help his wife wash dishes, cook, and arrange things. I carried the warm feelings in my heart and chose the opportunity to advise my daughter-in-law.
Then, one morning, while walking my grandson around the hallway, I met a friend of the same age who was also feeding a handsome baby boy. When I learned that she was also from the countryside and also played the role of mother-in-law, I asked her and talked more with her. Then, when we were close enough, I confided my sorrows.
She said, living with her mother-in-law is never easy for a daughter-in-law. For people like me who are single mothers and only have one son, it’s even more difficult. Because she sees her son as the whole world, in dealing with her daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law will become even more strict.
She advised me, the more difficult something is, the more you have to practice. Only tolerance and openness can make the family atmosphere relaxed and peaceful. The first secret to creating comfort in conversations that she passed on to me is the skill of praising. A wise mother-in-law will know how to praise her daughter-in-law at the right time and place. If criticism is a blurt full of prejudice, then praise requires the most sincerity.
Parents in the past often relied on age to assume that they belonged to the “upper class”. However, life has changed now. Young people are now much quicker in accessing and choosing products, services, and utilities.
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| Photo for illustration purposes only – Our-Team |
I also listened to her, when I was at home with my daughter-in-law, I did not judge or infer by appearance. If I want to know something, I will ask directly. When I asked about my work plans, my daughter-in-law happily replied: “Don’t worry, Mom, over the past month I have thoroughly researched food sources, procedures for opening a restaurant, and have connected quite a few customers.” promised support. In the new year, the couple plans to open a food stall on the first floor of the apartment complex. This area is crowded with people from all over the world, so I want to cook rustic dishes with a strong hometown flavor. At that time, please ask your mother to guide you and prepare an additional menu for you.”
It turns out that all this time, I’ve been holding onto my phone to calculate my new job. This is probably also the money-making plan that my son mentioned in a previous conversation. From now on, every day, I will practice praising and sharing with my daughter-in-law.
My daughter-in-law is actually quite good. Even though I am silent and quiet, I never stop moving and cherishing every day to build a more spacious and cozy home.
Intelligent performance
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