Even though she has four grandchildren, my mother-in-law only pays attention to her grandchildren.
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| My mother-in-law always said she considered me as her own daughter (Illustration) |
My mother-in-law texted me that the first anniversary of my father-in-law’s death will be on Sunday. I was surprised: “The first anniversary shouldn’t be celebrated later, Mom.” Her mother-in-law said she would make offerings on the day of the death anniversary, and on Sunday make a feast to invite neighbors.
I complained: “Mom, Sunday is the day we are very busy.” My mother-in-law said: “But on Sundays, American children are off school.”
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Baby My is my mother’s grandchild and she only needs to know that she doesn’t have to go to school that day, and doesn’t care how busy her son and daughter-in-law are that day. This is not the first time my mother-in-law has arranged household chores according to the American child’s school schedule.
When we first got married, my mother-in-law always said she considered me as her daughter. But more and more, I find the status of “biological daughter” very strange. This Friday is the first anniversary of my father-in-law’s death, an event we have carefully prepared for a long time. Our work on weekends is very busy, while the middle days of the week are quite free. Therefore, for many years now, whenever any important work falls on the weekend, we have found a way to arrange it earlier, or have had to ask help from back and forth to arrange it properly.
On the first anniversary of my father-in-law’s death, we were relieved because it fell on a Friday. My mother-in-law wanted to make a few feasts for the neighbors, and they could all attend on that day, because everyone was in the countryside so they were free.
People say that for the deceased, the 49-day worship period and the first death anniversary are the most important. On that day, children and grandchildren should try to come home in large numbers. But just because her grandchild was out of school, she forced us to try our best to fit our work into her schedule. My child – her grandson also goes to school, but she has never asked to make arrangements.
Many years as a daughter-in-law, through the way my mother-in-law behaves, I see a clear preference in favor of her daughter and grandchildren.
My husband and I and my sister-in-law’s wife both live in the city, and both head to the countryside with… vegetables and fruits from our garden. In the countryside with large land, my mother raised livestock and grew clean vegetables, she said, to provide for her children in the city. However, only a couple of times she sent me a message to go to my husband’s sister’s house to get vegetables and chicken that she sent to her grandchildren, the rest she only focused on her daughter and grandchildren.
One time, when I went to my brother-in-law’s house, I saw the refrigerator filled with chicken, duck, pork, and the kitchen floor was full of grapefruit, custard apples, sapodilla… She showed off all the food her mother sent from the countryside.
I felt sorry for myself, but immediately consoled myself: “It’s quite inconvenient to send gifts to 2 places.”
But I wish my mother wouldn’t brag about sending me food. One time my mother came to my house to visit, bringing a ready-made chicken and she told my neighbor that she lived far away but still took care of her grandchild’s every meal, always sending clean meat and clean vegetables.
I know, every time my mother raises a new flock of chickens, my husband sends her a few million dong to buy food to fatten them. Is that why you saved a chicken for us?
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| I’m not jealous of my mother-in-law’s favoritism towards her grandchildren, but if only she would give us a little thought (Illustration) |
I remember when I gave birth to my baby, my mother-in-law went to the city to help me take care of my baby, but she forced baby America to come to my house to play. Baby My was only 4 years old at that time, so instead of taking care of her grandchild, my mother-in-law just spent most of her time feeding her, letting her play, and coaxing her to sleep. Dirty clothes and diapers belong to grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but the mother-in-law only washes them for her grandchildren and dries them carefully. Grandma left it to us to take care of her grandchild’s things.
When I talk about gifts, meals and drinks like that, people may say that I’m petty and petty, but I don’t feel resentful about my mother-in-law’s injustice. I’m just sad and hope my mother loves us more.
Nhat Ha
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