I also realized that as I listened to my children talk more, I, as a mother, naturally became more open and less likely to hide my tiredness and feelings.
After receiving Ms. Nhan’s message, the parent chat group in my child’s class suddenly became bustling. Everyone excitedly discussed the situation she presented. Some people share similar stories, some talk about how to educate children in each family, the most are still dissecting and evaluating the personality of little girl Thu Hoai – the main character in the story. Ms. Nhan just mentioned.
According to Ms. Nhan, Thu Hoai is a disobedient and stubborn student who often plays tricks on her classmates. Relying on his tall figure, Hoai forced his friends to do strange actions according to his wishes. Ms. Nhan wrote: “It happened many times, but because I was busy, because the victim of bullying was not directly my child, I didn’t speak up. But this time, her daughter was forced by Thu Hoai to hold hands and hug a male classmate; Otherwise, Thu Hoai will find excuses and not let her study in peace.”
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| The author’s daughter is an understanding girl |
After monitoring the messages going back and forth between the parents, what I did right at pick-up time was to start a conversation with my daughter to tell her what happened. After a few minutes of questioning, my daughter in turn recounted situations and personality traits as well as ways of interacting and communicating in class related to Thu Hoai.
And it doesn’t stop there, as if it’s right on cue, my child’s school world appears vividly with many different stories and names. The distance from school to home, which was quite far, suddenly seemed shorter as I quickly opened my heart.
Remember, not long ago, during a late dinner, when my husband put down his chopsticks and went into the room to watch a movie, my daughter boldly presented: “Mom, do you know why every night I Do you all prefer your mother guiding your child to study rather than your father?” “I don’t know” – I said honestly. “Because when you do something wrong, mom doesn’t scow like dad. Mom gently points out mistakes and instructs her how to do things so she can do it right. As for dad, if the first lesson is wrong, he will get angry, then the next few songs will be scared and he will continue to make mistakes. As a result, none of the exercises were done correctly,” he said.
The homework story stopped there, but because I felt my child wanted to continue telling more, I deliberately slowed down the meal. As expected, a moment later, I continued sharing about the facial expressions, charisma, and circumstances of my neighbor girls. I said, this friend has bright eyes and a bright smile because her parents rarely argue, and the other friend has neat hair because her grandmother doesn’t look at her phone but likes to take care of her grandchild’s beauty.
She also shared with me the reason why she regularly shares food and toys with a little girl named Na in the neighborhood: “I want to help her cheer up. Na is the youngest in a family of 3 people. I often get scolded by my brother, and my sister always tries to make trouble and steal my toys. As for her parents, they never take the time to listen and judge fairly.”
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| Photo for illustration purposes only – Jcomp |
Through my child’s story, I don’t know what kind of personality and circumstances his children’s friends really have. Situations and collisions only appear one-sidedly from the child’s perspective. I cannot fully conclude about the outside world, but I have more or less understood and grasped my child’s inner features and thoughts.
Before, I had the habit of telling stories to my children. Fairy tales about Cinderella, the god of light, and the flower fairy will be transmitted in a one-way direction. Through the story, I remind my children of good messages about nature and lifestyle. At that time, I paid little attention and took the time to listen to what my children shared.
Now that I’m older and my child’s world is gradually expanding through “windows” and perspectives, I know that I need to skillfully change roles from being a storyteller to being more of a listener. The golden time for your child to confess can be on the way home from school, at mealtime, in bed before bedtime, but it can also be anytime they are ready.
I also realized that as I listened to my children talk more, I, as a mother, naturally became more open and less likely to hide my tiredness and feelings. It’s easier for me to tell my children the problems and dilemmas of a young wife and young mother in family life. Talk about the pressures at work, about the sadness of being misunderstood by close friends…
Maybe, because you don’t understand enough, because you don’t live in the world of adults, you won’t fully understand what’s really going on. But perhaps, like me, you will feel sweet and warm when your mother trusts you.
I silently thank my daughter, thanks to her, I have another friend, a companion, an inspiration in the smooth times and also in the times when life is unstable and difficult.
Intelligent performance
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